


In a matter of seconds

by HongBabe



Category: Kpop - Fandom, VIXX
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Character Death, Death, M/M, Sad, Vixx - Freeform, car crash, kpop, neo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-07-28 13:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7642471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HongBabe/pseuds/HongBabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The aftermath of a car crash involving Hakyeon and a passed out driver from behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Sorry, babe. I’m gonna be a little late for dinner tonight. One of the students injured her ankle during practice, so I have to drive her to the hospital.” Hakyeon told Taekwoon over the phone.

“Why doesn’t she just take an ambulance?...” Taekwoon said, a little annoyed, since he’d really been looking forward for tonight. “You’re her dance teacher, not her personal driver.”

Hakyeon chuckled at his slightly annoyed boyfriend. He could literally hear the pout Taekwoon made through the phone.  
“Don’t worry, I’ll be home by eleven. Gotta go. Bye, see you later.”

“Bye..” 

They both hang up their phones. Taekwoon puts his phone away and looks at the freshly made dinner he had just put on the table. He figured it would be a waste to let the food just sit there and get cold (cold spaghetti isn’t what he preferred. And neither is the once cold but now microwaved one.) So he started to eat, even tho he’s still alone, in the apartment he shared with his boyfriend of almost 5 years.

 

Once Hakyeon gets to the hospital with the girl, while walking to the check in, he looks around. He sees all the devastated families and all the people in pain, both physical and mental. He sees a kid, covered in blood, being rushed in by his parents. He sees the tears and panic in their eyes. At the same time he’s feeling bad for the patients, he feels glad that the student that got hurt during practice, wasn’t too badly injured. 

He had always hated hospitals. All the broken hearts (and bones), all the people that has to sit and wait in pain in the waiting room, because there’s always someone who hurts more than them. The smell of medicine and blood. He hated it all. But he knew that he wasn’t in the position to complain.

Hakyeon greets the injured students parents once they arrive at the hospital. He told them what had just happened, and the parents thanked him for taking care of their daughter like this.  
He gets out of the hospital as soon as he feels that the affected family could take it from there.  
As soon as he gets in to his car, he thinks to himself “I hope I won’t have to visit here again anytime soon” And then he starts to drive home.

 

About 40 minutes into his journey home, he calls his boyfriend. He really didn’t think there would be this kind of traffic at this time. 

“Hello?” A tired voice was heard from hakyeons phone. 

“Hi, babe, it’s me. I was just calling to say that I’m stuck in traffic at the moment, and won’t be making it back home until midnight, maybe even later. Were you sleeping? Did I wake you up?” 

“No no I was just watching some tv on the couch, and then I.. I.. I guess I fell asleep huh” The younger boy said, a little embarrassed. He wanted to wait up for his boyfriend, he wanted to greet him with a hug and a kiss when he got home, since he knew how much Hakyeon hated hospitals. He wanted to be there for his boyfriend to cheer him up. 

Hakyeon smiled to himself, happy that Taekwoon at least got a little sleep. Since he usually would stay up at night, writing emails to clients and preparing for the next day at his work. Hakyeon didn’t like that His boyfriend tired himself out like that over a stupid company who doesn’t even treat him well. But he did like seing his boyfriend in suits, so he could manage it. Taekwoon didn’t really enjoy staying up late and leaving his boyfriend alone so early in the morning. But he had to have a job, and this was just the one he was stuck with at the moment.

“Then I shouldn’t bother you anymore, baby. Go to bed. I’ll try to hurry as much as I can, okay?”

“I’d rather wait for you so we can sleep together.. I’ve really missed you today, Hakyeon” 

“I’ve missed you too, babe. I’ll be with you as soon as I can, I promise. See you when I get home, okay?”

“okay.. be careful in traffic.”

“I will.. Love you. Bye.”

“Bye..”

 

About 10 minutes later, Hakyeon gets really tired. It’s been a long day, and traffic isn’t making it any shorter. All he wants is to get home so he and his boyfriend could lay close to each other and slowly drifting away to sleep. Hakyeons favorite thing in the world, is when he wakes up and sees his boyfriend sleeping peacefully besides him. 

He feels his eyelids getting heavier and heavier by the minute, but he fights the urge to fall asleep in the car.  
Soon, the traffic seems to clear up. Hakyeon thanks god (or whoever it is who is listening to his late night thoughts) for this, and keeps on driving. 

When there are about 5 more minutes until he’s home, he sees a car behind his, driving a little too fast for his liking, towards him. He looks back in the mirror besides him, to see who the hell is driving like that. He sees a person, but that person isn’t awake. Nowhere near actually. For all Hakyeon knows, the person could be dead. He really can’t tell tho. 

Hakyeon starts to panic. He knew that the car behind him would hit him so hard if the driver didn’t wake up right in that moment and stopped the car. But hakyeon could tell that wasn’t going to be the case, as he sees the car keep on moving fast forward. It was all in a matter of seconds. And then he hears it. 

 

 

Taekwoon wakes up from a phone call. He tries to looks at the time, since he notices his boyfriend isn’t home yet. “01:13” He answers the call, thinking it was Hakyeon. 

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Jung Taekwoon?”

“yes, who is this?”

“ This is Seoul National University Hospital speaking. We are calling you about mr. Cha Hakyeon.”


	2. My moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the hospital after the accident.

Taekwoon was in shock. He really didn’t think Hakyeon would be one to get in an accident. He’s always so careful with what he does. Taekwoon couldn’t help but imagining the worst in this moment. 

He tried to calm down so he could find out what had happened.  
“What happened? Is he ok? Where is he now?”

“He was in a car crash. He’s alive, but he’s going through surgery at the moment. We don’t know exact numbers, but it’s a pretty small chance of him surviving this surgery. Since you’re his guardian on these papers, it would be good if you came here as soon as you could. We will show you to him when you arrive.”

Taekwoon tried to stay calm, since there was a small chance of his boyfriend being ok, even tho the chance was small. He knew that if there’s life, it’s never too late. 

“O-okay thank you I’ll… I’ll be there as soon as I can.” They both hang up the phones. Taekwoons breath was shaky.He felt like his whole world had just died. He felt his eyes getting watery, and his legs starting to give in, but he knew that he didn’t have time to fall apart right now. His lover needed him. Taekwoon needed him too.

Taekwoon got up and searched for his coat. He put on the nearest pair of shoes he could find. He checked that he had his wallet with him, since he would have to take a taxi. Once he was done with all that, and it was under one minute, he ran out the door. 

Taekwoon got a cab, and told the driver, the best he could with his shaky voice “Seoul National University Hospital. Hurry, please” 

The driver could hear Taekwoons desperation in his voice. He looked like he just witnessed death before his own two eyes. 

The taxi driver drove as fast as he could, but since it was late at night, he had to be extra careful. The driver didn’t dare to ask what had happened, since he could pretty much tell, from the state of panic Taekwoon seemed to be in.

On their way there, Taekwoon saw that yellow police tape on a part of the road. Two smashed cars, and a firetruck. It wasn’t that far away from his apartment. Taekwoon recognized one of the cars. It was Hakyeons. He could tell, not only from the drivers plate, but also from the, now ruined, but earlier, nicely decorated inside. He felt like he was going to puke. 

 

Once they arrived, Taekwoon payed the driver, and ran in to the hospital in the speed of light. He ran to the fron desk and asked for Hakyeon. 

“Are you Taekwoon?”

“Yes I am. Where is he? Where’s Hakyeon?” He asked, a little louder than he should. But what could he do, he was in shock. Whoo wouldn’t be loud in a moment like this?

“He’s still in surgery, but I think he will be done within the hour. I’ll show you to the room he’ll be put in afterwards, okay? Follow me.” The nurse escorted him into a private room. “You should sit down and try to calm down a bit, okay? Do you want me to get you anything? Water? Coffee maybe?”

“Coffee would be nice, thank you..” Taekwoon tried his best to relax.  
The nurse smiled at him and told him that she will be back in a short moment.  
Taekwoon tried his best, not falling apart in there. He tried breathing exercises, walking back and forth in the small room, but nothing seemed to work. The nurse got back with his coffee, and that seemed to relax him a little bit. 

Once he was alone again, he started to get these thoughts. “what if he doesn’t make it through the surgery?” “what if he makes it, but can’t remember me?” “what if he lost an arm or something? He wouldn’t be in surgery for so long if nothing happened” and so on. 

He knew these thoughts weren’t helping the situation one bit, but it was all in his head. It’s not like you choose what thoughts that pops into your head.  
Taekwoon sat on a small chair in the lonely room. He looked out from a window on the wall. He saw the stars. He saw the stars, that he and his boyfriend looks at, in times of trouble. He looks at the moon. The moon, that he so often gets called by his Hakyeon. “You are my moon” Hakyeon used to say. “Your skin is as pale and beautiful as the moon. You stay up all night, looking after everyone, just like the moon. You guide me through my darkest times, with your glowing personality, just like the moon.” Taekwoon used to hear those words when Hakyeon would take him out on a night walk. Taekwoon loved it when Hakyeon was cheesy like that. He would never admit to liking it tho, but Hakyeon could always tell, from the way Taekwoon started to blush whenever he called him stuff like that. Hakyeon found that very cute.

 

After about 45 minutes, terrified and alone in the small room, the door opened. Taekwoon shot up from his chair in less than a second. He saw Hakyeon being rolled in on one of those hospital beds. Hakyeon was asleep.  
One of the doctors told Taekwoon that the surgery went well. He told him that Hakyeon didn’t suffer any damages to the head, but that he severely injured his legs, and that’s what took so long time. 

Taekwoon felt so greatful towards the doctors and everyone around him that his boyfriend didn’t die or forgot who he is. But then the rest of the doctors words hit him. 

“Won’t he be able to walk again? Please tell me he will be able to move his legs soon? He’s a dance teacher and he would be sad to death if he couldn’t move again! Please tell me he will be fine?!” Taekwoon started to cry, both of relief because his boyfriend was alive, but also tears of panic, since his boyfriends life could possibly be ruined because of this.

“Please calm down, sir. Mr. Hakyeon is alive, and that’s what matters at the moment. The chances of him ever being able to walk again are very small. But with physical therapy and patience, there’s a slight possibility that he could walk again, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up too much. He’s lucky he didn’t have to get a leg amputation. He got hit from a car behind him in an incredible speed, the car hit him and Mr. Hakyeon drove into a tree at the side of the road. His legs got crushed in between the tree and his crashed car. Fortunately, he survived, but unfortunately, the driver who drove into him passed away at the scene.”

Taekwoon had to sit down. The doctors told him that he could stay as long as he wanted to, but that Hakyeon needed to rest. Now Taekwoon was alone with his sleeping boyfriend. 

Taekwoon took Hakyeons hand in his, and pulled it up to his face. He kissed his boyfriends hand as he whispered into it “what are we going to do.. please hang in there, Hakyeon. I’ll be right here when you wake up, I swear.” with tears in his eyes. Taekwoon didn’t let go of that hand until Hakyeon started moving the next morning. Taekwoon stayed up all night, watching over his lover. 

The first thing Hakyeon felt was his lovers’ soft, comforting hands in his own. Then the pain hit hit him hard. He shot open his eyes and started to panic. He didn’t remember what had happened, or why he was there. 

Taekwoon noticed that his boyfriend started to panic. He held Hakyeons hand tighter, to show that he was fine. 

“What happened?? Why am I here? Where even is this??” Hakyeon was too confused and scared to think about the pain in his legs. He turned to face his boyfriend.

“Hey, hey, hey, calm down, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay, I promise. Now, take a deep breath and try to relax so I can tell you what happened. Hakyeon did as he was told. 

“Ok, so, remember yesterday when you had left that girl at the hospital? And you were on you way home, but got stuck in traffic?” Taekwoon didn’t let go of Hakyeons hand.

Hakyeon tried to remember. He thought for a few seconds, until he remembered. “Yeah I remember. Briefly.”

“Okay good. Well, after you’d just called me, there was a car who ran into you from behind.”

“wHAT????”

“Calm down, I’m not finished yet. That driver had diabetes and passed out from his low blood sugar level. He still had his foot on the gas pedal, so he kept on moving forward, really fast, towards you. He drove into you, which caused you, to run into a tree on the side of the road. He died on the impact, and your legs got stuck inside your car, that was crushed by the big tree. The doctors said you were very lucky not to have to go through a leg amputation. And I’m so happy you’re alive, Hakyeon. I’m so, so happy.” Taekwoon hugged his boyfriend tight. He never wanted to let go.

Hakyeon tried to process everything Taekwoon just said. It was a little easier to do that while he was held tight against his lover. Once they both pulled away, Hakyeon took a deep breath. He still had so many questions, but he knew that Taekwoon couldn’t answer all of them. He wasn’t even there while it happened. He was just happy that his boyfriend was there by his side.

“What did they say about my legs? They’re ok, right?” Hakyeon asked his boyfriend, with a concerned look.

Taekwoons facial expression just sank. He looked like he was about to cry. Hakyeon understood what they said.

Taekwoon sarted to shed a few tears, which Hakyeon dried away with his thumbs. “I’m so sorry..” Taekwoons voice was shaky. Hakyeon felt like was going to cry, too.

Taekwoon took a deep breath. “They said the chances of you walking again, are very small..” Taekwoon started to sob. He was heartbroken. His lover was injured, possibly for his whole life. He hated the person who did this to him, even if it wasn’t intentional. He mentally cursed every god there could possibly be out there. He blamed himself for this, even tho he knew he didn’t have anything to do with the accident. He hated this. He felt like he was going to die, even tho he wasn’t the one who got injured. Not physically at least.  
Hakyeon started crying. His boyfriend literally just told him that his passion (aside from his partner) in life was done with. If he can’t walk, he sure as hell couldn’t dance. And he needed his legs for his everyday life. He was not prepaired for living his late twenties and forward in a wheelchair. He really hated this as well. 

The two hugged each other for a long time. When they pulled away, Taekwoon looked his lover in the eyes. “You’ll make it through this. I promise. I’ll be here to help you every step of the way. I love you so, so much, Hakyeon. We’ll get you into physical therapy. We’ll get you the best help we can, okay? You’re not going to go through this alone, I swear. I’ll be here. Forever.” They started to hug again. The feeling of this kind of closeness was very comforting for them both. 

Hakyeon kissed his lovers lips ever so softly. “I love you so much, Taekwoon. Thank you for being by my side. You really are my moon.” 

 

After a few moments, a nurse came in to check on them. “Oh, you woke up! Why didn’t you tell me? How are you feeling now?”

Hakyeon looked at her and smiled. “I recently just woke up. Taekwoon told me about what happened yesterday. I’m in pain right now, but it’s bearable, thank you.”

“Then I’ll bring you some pain killers and some breakfast. I’ll be right back!” the nurse said, as she walked out the door.  
After about 10 minutes, the nurse walked inside Hakyeons little room again. This time with a doctor by her side. The doctor looked at Hakyeon and said “We’ll have a little check up on your legs later today, after you’ve eaten and rested for a bit. And if the results are fine, you can leave the hospital tonight. We’ll provide you with a wheelchair and a ride home of course. Sounds good?”

Hakyeon gave him a smile. “Sounds perfect, doctor, thank you.”

“If you have any questions, feel free to talk to me anytime, okay?” The doctor said, as he kept eye contact with Hakyeon. 

“I will, thank you.”

The doctor walked out of the room. Taekwoon had fallen asleep in the chair besides Hakyeons bed. The nurse gave Hakyeon the painkillers, and told him “The guardian of the person who crashed in to you last night is here. He told me thet he really wanted to talk to you, if you were ok with it of course.”

Hakyeon froze. He realized that not only did the driver not make it, but he must’ve left behind so many loved ones. They must be heartbroken. They probably hurt more than Hakyeon did, mentally at least. 

“Of course” Hakyeon said. “Bring him in after I’ve finished this. It’ll take about 5 minutes..” Hakyeon didn’t want to be rude and keep the man waiting, but he needed time to prepare for what was coming. Or rather, who was coming.

“Of course, I’ll tell him right away.”

The nurse left the room, and Hakyeon woke his lover up. He hated to wake him uo, since he didn’t sleep much, but he really needed him right now.

“Babe, wake up.”

Taekwoon hummed, he was so sleepy. Then he remembered where he was and what had happened. “What is it? Does it hurt a lot? You need me to get anything?” Taekwoon started to ramble.

“No it’s not that, I’m fine. But you know the person who drove into me last night? Yeah, well, his guardian is here, and he wants to talk to me. I told the nurse to send him in, in about 5 minutes. I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to him tho. I mean yeah I told him it was ok, but that’s because it was the only right thing to do. He must be devastated over his loss. And it’s because of me.. what if he hates me now? Ohh Taekwoon I don’t know what to do..” Hakyeon started to breathe faster than ususal, so Taekwoon cupped his boyfriends fave, and tried to calm him down.

“You did the right thing. We don’t know what he’s going to say, but we should give him a chance to talk. To grieve his lost one. I’ll be right here with you. We’ll talk to him together, okay?” Taekwoon kissed his boyfriends soft lips, and smiled at him. “It’s going to be ok, I promise.”

Hakyeon smiled. He felt so lucky to have Taekwoon in his life. He couldn’t wait to get home and just lay in bed together with him again.  
“Okay” Hakyeon said. “ We’ll do it together” 

Not long after, there was a knock on the door. Hakyeon gave his permission for whoever it was to come inside. The door to the small room opened, and there stood a tall young man. 

 

“Hello, I’m Kim Wonshik. I’m the guardian of Lee Jaehwan, the one who hit you yesterday."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is also a kind of short chapter but I have the next few chapters planned so hopefully, if someone wants to read them, I'll try to make them longer! Please tell me if you enjoyed! Like i've said before, i'm really new to this whole writing thing and english isn't my first language so I'm sory for any spelling and or grammar mistakes! Have a nice day!


	3. I promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened the day of the accident - kenvi version

Wonshik and Jaehwan had the strangest relationship, according to the people that they knew at least. 

When the two met, Jaehwan worked as a kindergarten teacher, and was really popular with the kids. His co-workers used to say that he’s so close to the kids, since he practically still was one himself. Jaehwan was always so happy, and full of life. He had diabetes, and was pretty low on energy at times, but that never stopped him from caring about the kids. The kids adored him, and so did their parents. 

Wonshik on the other hand, was a tattoo artist and a high school dropout. He wasn’t about that kids life, or people in general for that matter. He didn’t have many friends. He didn’t have any friends, to be exact. The only people he spoke to was his little sister, and the costumers at his tattoo shop. 

Even though the two males were the exact opposite from one another, their relationship still found a way to work. The two males had fallen in love with each other because of their differences, and they stayed together because of them, too. They always seemed to amaze one another with their complete different lifestyles and mindsets. Wonshik loved the way Jaehwan could go on and talk for hours about whatever it was that made him excited that day, and Jaehwan loved to watch Wonshik being super concentrated while doing someones tattoo design.

To people around them, their relationship was confusing. Some people even asked how and why they would stay together, with all their differences. But to Wonshik and Jaehwan, it wasn’t confusing. Not all the time, at least. And it didn’t bother them. To them, it was amazing to be so close to each other physically, but so far away in their mindsets. But neither of them would want to change a single thing about each other. It was pure love from both of them.

 

But that’s all in the past now. Now there won’t be any more questions about their, slightly, strange relationship. There’s not going to be any more of Jaehwans cute morning texts from work, or sweet love notes on Wonshiks lunch bags. No more Jaehwan dropping by the tattoo shop, watching Wonshik work late at night, until he’s done and they can make out in the car. No more, and Wonshik knew that. He just hasn’t accepted it yet. He doesn’t think that he ever will, for that matter.  
He’s still in shock, of course. The day of the accident was just like any other day, so how could he have known what was going to happen later that night. 

-

The day started off as any other day for Wonshik and Jaehwan. They both slept in the same bed. Wonshik being the big spoon, as always, while the older was the little spoon. Jaewhan woke up one hour before his lover, since he took care of the morning group at the kindergarten. But before he got out of bed, he let the feeling of Wonshiks arms around his own stay on him for a few more moments. He looked down at his hands. On one of his fingers, there was a ring, an engagement ring, in fact. Wonshik had one, too (no shit). Identical to the one Jaehwan had, just a bit bigger. He looked at his ring, and he felt warm. He felt like the luckiest man alive. 

When Jaehwan got up, he put on some fresh clothes, and walked out of their bedroom. He stopped once he was in the bathroom. He didn’t even bother closing the door, since he was the only one awake. He looked at himself in the big mirror on the wall, above the sink, and started to wash his face. He started off with water, and then he proceeded to use all kinds of creams and gels for his face. Jaehwan had always taken good care of his skin, and when he noticed that Wonshik hadn’t been doing the same thing, he would scold him a bit for not taking care of himself, and then he would put some creams on for him.  
He then proceeded to style his hair. Jaehwan never did much to his hair, unless there was a special occasion, of course. But it wasn’t today, so he just put some water on his hands, and ran his fingers through his fringe, so it wouldn’t cover his eyes. Once he felt like he was done with the business in the bathroom, he went into the kitchen, to grab snack. He knew he’d be eating breakfast with the morning group at kindergarten, but he still felt the sugar urges. So he put a snickers bar in his mouth, and started to make two sandwiches. Not for himself, but for Wonshik. That had sort of been his morning routine for the past four and a half years. The couple met when Jaehwan was 20, and Wonshik was 19. Now, 6 years later, they’re living their dream lifes. It took almost exactly one and a half year, after they met, for the both to move in together. At first it was a small one room and kitchen apartment, but it was all they needed. Now when they’re older and have a bit more money and plans for the future, they lived in a pretty decent sized flat. One master bedroom, a bathroom, a big living room, a nice and newly renovated kitchen, a work room for them both if they were ever in need of one, and a balcony with the most beautiful night view over the city they loved and lived in.

When Jaehwan had put the lunch bag with a cute note inside of it, on the kitchen table, he left the apartment, leaving his sleeping lover home alone. 

 

When Wonshik finally woke up, he tried to fall asleep again. He really wasn’t a morning person, but he knew he had to get to work, so he sat up. He looked around the room, sleepy and a little confused from the dream he just had. He usually has really weird dreams at night, but they never scare him. He brushes it off, and starts to get dressed. 

Once he’s in the kitchen, he sees the lunch bag his lover had made him earlier this morning. He smiles. He knew that there would be a little note inside, but he didn’t want to read it yet. He always waits until he’s at work, and there’s one of those grumpy costumers, or he’d just seemed unfocused, since the little notes seemed to cheer him up quite a bit in those situations.

He went out the door, and began walking to his job.

Jaehwans work place was a bit too far away for walking, so he had the car on work days. Wonshik only had to walk about 15 minutes before he was there, so he didn’t complain. Jaehwan always picked him up if he was working late, so it was really nice, having his boyfriend pick him up with their car. He looked really cool while driving, at least Wonshik thought so.

Once Wonshik arrived at work, the few people that were already there greeted him. “Good morning, boss!” They all sounded so tired, but Wonshik wasn’t really in the position to complain, since this morning he literally looked like he died three years ago. “Morning, guys..” He yawned really loud, almost like a grandpa would do just to be annoying to the people around him. 

“Rough night, huh?” One of the people around him said, he smirked at Wonshik, then he returned to sketch some tattoo ideas for an unsure client. 

Wonshik chuckled, with a tired soul. He had, in fact, had a pretty rough night. As the memories from last night, holding Jaehwan tight as they made love, ran through his head, Wonshik started to blush. “Shut up..” was all that could leave his lips.

 

When it was lunch time, Jaehwan called his lover. Wonshik answered, with a big piece of one of his sandwiches in his mouth. “Hello?” You could literally hear the amount of food that was inside Wonshiks mouth, but Jaehwan only chuckled. Wonshik had synced their lunch time schedules, since he was the boss of the place and he could literally do whatever he wanted. 

“How’s it going, babe?” Jaehwans voice was so smooth. 

“It’s going just fine, thank you. I’m working late tonight, though.” Wonshik really didn’t feel like working late tonight, but he knew he had a lot of things to get done today, so he really didn’t have a choice.

“Oh.. should I stop by after work, then?”  
“That would be really nice, but I’m working like really late. I think I’ll be done at like around midnight.. You should go home and sleep instead. I’ll be fine.” Wonshik wanted Jaehwan to be there, but he didn’t want to keep him awake late at night, when he knew they’d have to go to work early in the morning the next day. 

“But I really miss you, babe. Let’s make a deal. If I go home after work, and take a nap, am I allowed to come pick you up at work late?” Wonshik could hear Jaehwans smirk through the phone. He knew Jaehwan would get it his way, no matter what Wonshik said. 

“Deal.” Wonshik chuckled. “See you then, babe. Love you. Bye.” 

“Love you too.”

Wonsiks co-workers all looked at eachother, before breaking in to giggle. Wonsshik looked at them. “Oh shut up.” 

“We didn’t say anything.”

-

The two males went through with their days. Jaehwan went home after work and took a nap. Wonshik was still at work, cleaning up a bit from the days appointments. 

When the clock on the wall showed Wonshik that its ten minutes until midnight, Jaehwan called him.

“Hi, babe.” Jaehwan sounded tired. And not sleepy tired, but almost ‘out of it’ tired. The kind of tired he would be when his blood sugar was low. Wonshik was fully aware that his lover had diabetes, and was constantly concerned that something would happen to him. And since Wonshik didn’t have diabetes himself, he wasn’t 100% sure how to help the other male when he needed it. 

“Hi. Are you okay? You sound a little low?..” 

“Yeah I’m fine.. I just need to drop by the store to buy something to eat before I can come and pick you up. I’m feeling a little low on energy, that’s all. You want anything while I’m there?”

“No I’m fine, thank you. Be careful in traffic, okay? You know you shouldn’t drive when you’re like this..” 

“I’ll be fine. It takes about 7 minutes to drive to the store, I think I can manage that long.” Jaehwan sounded unsure, but proceeded to walk out the door.

“Okay.. but promise me you’ll be fine? You’ll meet me here, right?” 

Jaehwan smiled. “I promise.”

They both hung up, and proceeded to doing what they were doing. Jaehwan turned on the car, and started to drive to the store. Wonshik was done with work, so he just sat on a couch in the tattoo studio, looking at the big window, showing the streetlights on the road outside of the window. He couldn’t wait for Jaehwan to come walking in through the door. He couldn’t wait to have his lover in his arms, kissing him slowly, and enjoying their time spent together.

A few moments later, Jaehwan called again. “Hi, I was just calling to tell you that I’ll go to the bigger store a bit away from here. The small ones are closed, and I don’t feel so well, so I’ll hurry there and then I’ll be right there with you, okay?”

“Jaehwan, should I come and meet you? If you’re not feeling well, you really shouldn’t be on your own, you know that”

“Wonshik, babe, I’ll be fine, don’t worry. I promise I will be with you in a little bit.”

“Okay.. but hurry, I don’t have a good feeling about this. Love you. Bye.”

“ I love you too. I really do. Bye.”

-

When Wonshik looked at the time again, it was 12:45 am. He started to get nervous. He felt like something had happened to Jaehwan, since the bigger store he went to wasn’t 45 minutes away.  
He tried to call his lover, but he didn’t get an answer. Wonshik freaked the fuck out, but he knew he shouldn’t run out to the streets in the middle of the night, looking for Jaehwan, without knowing where he was or without having a plan.

Wonshik tried to calm down. Jaehwan did have his phone on silent most of the time, and therefor he didn’t answer as often as people would like him to., so Wonshik tried to think of it that way, just while he was trying to get an answer from the older mans phone. He didn’t think leaving the place would help, in case Jaehwan would walk in there any moment.

Wonshik lost track of time. After about 20 minutes, he got a call. Wonshik literally flew to his phone and answered in less than a second. 

“Hello??” Wonshiks voice was shaky, since he was too nervous to function properly.

“Hello, Is this Kim Wonshik?”

Wonshik really didn’t have time for talking to any other people than his lovers right now, but he didn’t have the heart to hang up on an innocent person like that. 

“Yes, that would be me. Who’s this?”

“This is Seoul National University Hospital speaking. We are calling you about Lee Jaehwan.”  
Wonshiks heart sank so low inside of him that he started to feel lightheaded.

“Mr. Kim, I’d need you to sit down for this,” Shit. “could you do that?” Fucking shit shit shit. 

Wonshik took a deep breath as he sat down. “What happened to him? “ Wonshik tried to sound calm, but he could hear his own voice being filled with panic.

“Mr. kim, I’m so sorry to tell you this, but Jaehwan have passed away. He was in a car crash a few moments ago. He’s still at the hospital, and since we didn’t find any other family of him on these papers, it would be best if you could come here as fast as you can.” 

Wonshik didn’t believe the lady in the phone. It couldn’t be true. Jaehwan promised he’d be there.

“STOP LYING AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED” Wonshik didn’t mean to yell, but who wouldn’t in this situation.

“Sir, please calm down. Where are you now? Should I send someone to pick you up?”

“I’m at the’ Kim tattoo studio’, in Seoul.” Wonshik couln’t move. He knew he’d just heard a woman saying that Jaehwan was dead, but that couldn’t be true. He was alive moments ago, so that’s impossible, right?

-

When Wonshik arrived at the hospital, on the verge of breaking dow, he was greeted by some hospital staff.

“Mr. wonshik, we’re gonna show you to a separate room, where you’re gonna have to answer some questions by the police, ok?” One of the employees said.

“No. Show me Jaehwan. Take me to him before I’ll have a mental breakdown.” Wonshik still had hope that Jaehwan was ok. That’s how he managed to stay so calm (mixed with the state of shock he was in, of course). 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Wonshik, but you’re not aloud to see him until you’ve talked to the police. Now, come with us.”

“SHOW ME TO MY FIANCE THIS INSTANT OR IMMA FIND HIM MY SELF” Wonshik yelled really loud, making the staff worried. 

“Sir, calm down. We-“ Before the lady could say anything else, Wonshik rushed into the hospital corridors. The employees ran after him, stopping him from getting further into the corridors.

A police man walked over to wonshik. “I’m officer Jung. Please, follow me into this room. It won’t take long, I promise.” Wonshik figured it would be the best thing to do right now, since he didn’t want to get sent out of there before he’d make sure that his lover was okay.

-

After what Wonshik thought was an eternity, which only was about an hour in real time, the police man let him go. Wonshik had been forced to answer so many personal questions, like for example, where he was the time of the incident, what his relationship with Jaehwan was, how long they had known each other, etc. He felt so exposed, so helpless, but he knew that he’d get to see Jaehwan now, and he knew everything would be alright if he could just get out of this small room.

The police man walked Wonshik to a slightly dark room, where there was a man in a doctors robe, and behind him there was a bed, and on that bed, there was Jaehwan. Or at least he thought so. Wonshik could only assume, since the body was covered with some sort of blanket.  
Wonshik walked over to the body, one step at a time, really slow and carefully. He pushed the man in the robe out of the way. Once he was close to the body, he lifted the blanket. He froze.

Under that blanket was Jaehwan. Not the Jaehwan, full of life and smiling eyes, though. Under that blanket was a lifeless looking copy of Jaehwan. Ghostlike pale skin, cuts on his forehead and blood in his hair. Wonshik took his lovers hand in his, and put it on his cheek. The body was cold. “No.. no, this isn’t.. this can’t be real.. “  
Wonshik couldn’t believe it all just yet. He put his other hand on Jaehwans chest. There was no pulse. Wonshik fell to the floor.

He started to cry. He started to scream. He was shaking, still holding on to his, now lifeless, boyfriends hand. Not wanting to let go. While he was on that cold hospital floor, he must’ve cursed at every one in the hospital. Why didn’t they save his lover, why weren’t they helping him, how could they do this to him, and so on. 

The hospital staff tried to get him out of the room, so he wouldn’t have to see the lifeless body of his fiance, but Wonshik fought against them to stay in there. He didn’t want to leave his lover alone again. 

-

The night went on, Wonshik crying for hours. The only thing in life that made him want to get up in the morning was never going to be there by his side in bed when he woke up anymore. His fiance, that he planned on marrying soon, wasn’t there anymore. He never would be.  
Wonshik passed out by Jaehwans side sometime that night. The hospital staff moved Wonshik, in his sleep, to another room. When wonshik woke up the following morning, he didn’t know where he was. Then it hit him. All the memories from last night hit him. He wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. He had no tears left. He felt empty. He felt like he was going to throw up, but he didn’t have time for that, so he shook it off. 

He walked out of the room, and in to one of the hospital corridors. “Mr. Kim, you’re awake!” A tiny woman, that he, kind of, remembered from last night, looked at him. “How are you feeling today?”

“Where’s Jaehwan?” Wonshik couldn’t feel anything. He was numb.

“Mr. Kim.. He’s been transferred to another department. You’re not allowed in there, I’m sorry.”

“So you mean I’ll never get to see my fiance again?”

“In the physical aspect, I’m afraid so, yes. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss.”

Wonshiks heart hurt so much that he thought he’d die soon, too. “Me too.”

“You know he was in a car crash, right?”

“I’m fully aware of that.”

“The person Jaehwan ran in to is here. He’s alive.”

Wonshik knew he shouldn’t be angry at the affected man for being involved in Jaehwans death, since he had nothing to do with it. He got to hear the details last night. But he couldn’t help but feeling angry at him. 

“Can I meet him?” Wonshik had to put away those angry feelings for a while, thinking that the man must be in severe pain, too. 

“I’ll ask him. Follow me and stay in the waiting room until I get back to you, okay?”

“Okay.”

-

The nurse came back, looking satisfied, but with pain showing in her eyes. She must be tired, Wonshik thought to himself.

“You can go see him in five minutes. He needs to eat before he can talk to anyone.” The nurse pointed at a door across the hall that he would go to in a few minutes. “Don’t be nervous, he’s alive and breathing. He’s in there with his boyfriend, so knock before you come in.. just in case, you know.” She winked at him, trying to make Wonshik relax a bit, before she walked away, doing whatever it was that she did at the hospital. 

After about five minutes had passed, Wonshik took a deep breath, as he knocked on the door.

“Come in.” A weak voice was heard behind the closed door. Wonshik opened the door and looked at the man in the hospital bed. 

“Hello, I’m Kim Wonshik. I’m the guardian of Lee Jaehwan, the one who hit you yesterday."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter was a little weird, I know. But bear with me on this It’ll get better in the next chapters (at least I’ll try to make them more interesting heh) But Would you guys be interested in a backstory for how ken and ravi met? I’ve already started on a chapter like that hehe.. or would you like me to make one for neo?? Idk ill probably end up doing both don’t hate me im gonna do regular chapters too I swear (not that anyone cares but u know)  
> Thank you for reading! See you in the next chapter!


	4. I'm fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're all in shock.

 

Hakyeon didn’t know what to say, and even if he did know, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to get his words out right. What was he supposed to say? _Nice to meet you? I’m sorry for your loss? How are you feeling?_ He really didn’t know what to say. Seeing this man, _Wonshik?,_ in person, it made him realize what had just happened a couple hours ago. Hakyeon obviously knew what happened, kind of, but he hadn’t fully accepted it yet, and Taekwoon could see that.

 

He could see his older boyfriend trying to hold back his tears. He noticed the way Hakyeon almost avoided talking about what happened. Like he was in some kind of denial. But he couldn’t blame him. It all happened so fast, and Taekwoon wasn’t even sure if he knew what was going on right there in that moment. Taekwoon looked over at his lover.

 

 _He must be in shock.._ _I mean, he **did** lose his ability to **walk**.._ he thought to himself.

 

After what felt like hours, but was only seconds, Hakyeon spoke.

 

“H-hi. I’m Cha Hakyeon.” He really didn’t know what to say.  

 

Hakyeon started to realize what was going on. It’s not like he didn’t know, but it didn’t feel as real before.

 

Wonshik looked like he was about to faint. This was all too much for him. “I’m so sorry..” He looked at Hakyeon and started to sob. “I’m so, so sorry..” His legs gave in, and he fell to the floor.

 

Both Hakyeon and Taekwoon got up to help him. Or, at least Hakyeon tried to, but he forgot that he couldn’t move his legs for a second, so when he tried to get up to catch Wonshik, he felt so much pain in his body, that he whimpered. Taekwoon was already on the floor, helping Wonshik up, but when he heard his boyfriend whimper in pain, he almost let go of Wonshik.

 

Once Wonshik was seated on a chair besides Taekwoon, he started to calm down.

 

“Are you okay?” Taekwoons words was soft, Wonshik could barely hear the words that were just directed towards him.

 

“Yeah I’m fine..” That was a lie.

 

“I know you’re not..” Hakyeon sounded really sad, and Taekwoon couldn’t take it, so he sat down besides Hakyeon on the bed and held him tight. He never wanted to let him go.

 

The room was silence for a bit, before Hakyeon started to speak again.

“Look.. I don’t know what your relations with the man who passed away is, but I am so very sorry for your loss.” Hakyeons voice started to shake. “And I can’t help but feeling guilty for what happened.. I mean, I know it was an accident, but I can’t shake off the feeling of guilt I have..”

 

Wonshik looked empty. _I’m sorry for your loss_ isn’t really the kind of words he thought he’d be hearing at this age. “No.. no, it wasn’t your fault. Don’t tell yourself that.” He took a deep breath, as he looked at the couple in front of him. “His name is Jaehwan..” The couple reacted to the usage of the word “is” as in is still alive, but they didn’t comment on it.

 

“We’re engaged.” He showed his engagement ring with a shy smile on his lips. The first smile the couple on the bed had seen him give. “We’ve known each other for a really long time.. It was love at first sight, as cheesy as that may sound..” Wonshik tried too lighten up the mood, since he knew that that would be what Jaehwan would’ve done in this situation.

 

Hakyeon smiled. He was such a hopeless romantic. He looked at the ring on Wonshiks finger. “It’s beautiful.”

 

“Thank you.” Wonshik started to get more comfortable in the conversation. “Jaehwan picked it out for us. Haven’t taken it off since.” He said, a little proud of himself.

Wonshik knew that the couple in front of him _, especially_ Hakyeon, needed an explanation for the accident, but he just didn’t know how to put his words. “Jaehwan, he.. he uhm.. he has diabetes.. He starts to zoom out when his blood sugar gets too low. And I guess that’s what happened.” Wonshiks voice started to get weaker and weaker after every word. “We were supposed to meet yesterday.. He was gonna meet me at my job, and we’d drive home together. That’s our thing. But he never came..” By this point he couldn’t see anything but the blur caused from his teary eyes.

 

Hakyeon looked at his boyfriend. He was so grateful that Taekwoon was by his side, even in hard times like this. He put Taekwoons hand in his own, and held on tight. Never letting go. He couldn’t even imagine the pain Wonshik must’ve felt in that moment. He wanted to tell Wonshik that it was all going to be okay. But “ _I’m so sorry..”_ was all that came out of his mouth, it was barely a whisper, but loud enough for Wonshik to hear.

 

“Me too..” Wonshik could feel his own voice shake.

 

* * *

 

 

After about an hour of talking to the couple, Wonshik had to leave. He needed to get some sleep. The three men exchanged numbers, so they could keep in touch. They decided that that would be for the better, since there would probably be some confusion later on, and they needed the support.

 

As Wonshik closed the door to Hakyeons room, Taekwoon looked over to his lover.

“Are you okay?” His words was as soft as ever, and it made Hakyeon feel a sense of relief.

“Yeah I’m fine.” That was a lie. “I’m just trying to process what just happened.”

 

The couple held on to each other like their life depended on it, and Taekwoon kissed his boyfriends forehead. “You’re going to be fine. It’ll l all be okay, I promise.”

Hakyeon knew that those words wasn’t meant just for him, but they were meant for both of them.

 

* * *

 

 

Wonshik got into a taxi, and stared out the window the whole ride home. When they arrived outside of his apartment, Wonshik didn’t want to get out of the car. He didn’t want to come home to an empty apartment. Especially not when he knew that it would stay that empty forever.

 

He got the courage to walk out of the car, and up to his door. Wonshik wasn’t sure if Jaehwan even locked the door last night. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

 

“ _Have you told his parents yet?”_  

Those were the words he heard Hakyeon say to him earlier, the words he didn’t want to think of. At least not in this scenario.

Jaehwan had cut off all connections with his parents years ago. They weren’t too found of Wonshik, or the fact that their son was in love with him. They never really appreciated anything Jaehwan did, they were always so bitter, the complete opposite of Jaehwan, so he thought it would be for the better to just stop talking to them. That’s why the hospital called Wonshik, instead of Jaehwans parents. They weren’t even on his records anymore. But Wonshik knew that that was what Jaehwan wanted. But since neither of them had spoken to Jaehwans parents in years, Wonshik really didn’t know what to tell them.

 

“ _Hi, remember Jaehwan, your son? Yeah, well, he’s dead._ ” He really couldn’t think of anything to say. But he knew they had to know, he just didn’t feel like telling them just yet.  

 

Wonshik sat down on the sofa in the living room, and looked around. It was weird, Wonshik thought. It all looks the same as before, but the feeling is different. The apartment wasn’t the same anymore. The positive energy Jaehwan gave out in there, was gone. The warm feeling of love in their home wasn’t there either, and Wonshik hated it. He really, really hated this.

 

When Wonshik walked in to the bedroom, he sat down on the bed. The same bed that he shared with his lover. The bed that Jaehwan was lying in, just a couple of hours ago. Jaehwan had left it the same way he woke up in it. He laid down on Jaehwans side. That never happened, since Jaehwan was really strict about that, because he was too scared to sleep on the side of the bed that was the closest to the big window on the wall. He was afraid of things he’d might see at night. Wonshik could smell the wonderful scent of Jaehwans hair on his pillow. After a few deep breaths, just taking all that was left of his lover in, he felt tears streaming down his face. Wonshik was so tired, but he didn’t want to fall asleep, just in case Jaehwan would walk through that door again. Just in case of a miracle happening.

 

A few minutes passed by, and Wonshik couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. The pillow he laid on was soaked in tears, still running down his cheeks. “ _You promised you’d come back..”_ It was barely a whisper, but it was all that Wonshik managed to get out of his mouth after all the crying. _“And I promise you I’ll wait..”_ He then fell asleep, with hopes of waking up to Jaehwan by his side.

 

* * *

 

 

Hakyeon and Taekwoon were really tired by this point. Both mentally and physically.

 

After a few more minutes of holding on to each other, never wanting to let go of the comforting feeling they felt in each other’s arms, and a lot of calming kisses, there was a knock on the door.

 

“Come in!”

 

The nurse from earlier walked in. “Hi Hakyeon, how are you feeling now?”

 

“I’m ok. I mean, my legs are still hurting, and I have a slight headache, but I’m fine.” He wasn’t fine.

 

The nurse smiled at him. “How lovely! Doctor Lee will come in and check on you in a few minutes, and if everything’s fine, and you really don’t want to stay here with me,” She playfully winked at him. “you can go home tonight.” The couple chuckled at the nurse cute side.

 

“That sounds really good, thank you for your hard work.” Hakyeon just really wanted to go home.

 

She smiled at him. “Let me know if there’s anything you need, okay? I’ll get going again. Bye:” She closed the door behind her, and Taekwoon wondered if this was her actual work, just talking to people, or if she was just a chit-chatty person, like Hakyeon.

 

 

After a few minutes, like the nurse said, a doctor came in to check on Hakyeon, and the results were fine. “You can go home tonight, if you want to. We just have to make sure you’re in an ok state to go home in first.” Hakyeon was relieved. Relieved and tired. He couldn’t wait to get home and sleep beside Taekwoon again. He really didn’t like hospitals.

 

A few hours went by, the couple passing time by kissing, cuddling on the hospital bed, singing sweet love songs to each other and comforting each other after this whole event. Once the chit-chatty nurse came walking in through the door, to help Hakyeon get out of there, Taekwoon had had at least 10 cups of coffee, and he was so ready to get out of there as well.

 

Hakyeon was put in a wheelchair. Taekwoon could see the sadness written on Hakyeons face when he had to sit down in that chair.

 

The ride home was quiet. The couple wasn’t fighting or anything. They were both just really tired.

 

* * *

 

 

When they arrived at their apartment, Hakyeon got help from the hospital staff driving the car, to get him in up the stairs to the apartment.

 

“We need to get a place with an elevator..” Taekwoons voice was filled with concern for his boyfriends comfort.

 

Once they were all settled down inside of their home, Taekwoon started to clean up the apartment a bit, moving a few pieces of small furniture, so Hakyeon could move around in his chair in there. Hakyeon started to feel burdensome to his boyfriend, so he got over to Taekwoon and held out his arms. “Take me to the bedroom. I really want to sleep, and I really want you to sleep with me.”

 

Taekwoon smiled. “Okay.” He lifted Hakyeon up, bridal style. Hakyeon whimpered for a second when his legs started to hurt on the suddent movement. This made Taekwoon worried again. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, are you okay?” He was so nervous. He really didn’t want to cause his boyfriend any more pain.

 

Hakyeon smiled at him. “I’m fine, babe. Just please go to the bedroom.” And that’s what he did.

 

Taekwoon laid his boyfriend, _very carefully_ , down on their bed, and put the covers on top of him. “Comfortable?”

 

“Very”

 

They both smiled, halfheartedly. Taekwoon laid down besides his boyfriend, holding him tightly pressed against his chest. “Good.”  

 

As Hakyeon felt his boyfriend’s lips on his forehead, he let a few tears stream down his face. These were the moments he lived for. The strong pain being slowly cancelled out by the even stronger feeling of love that Taekwoon gave him. “It’s going to be okay, right?”

 

“I can promise you that. It will be okay. I’m gonna make it okay. I swear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY YALL i jsut need to say this: I know that the hospital process isn't this fast irl but like i need to get on with the story u know. I HAVE A FEELING THAT THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GONNA BE KINDA SAD IDK ill try to make them longer but i get so easily distracted its crazy tbh but thank you for reading! I love the response im getting! thank you all so much it means a lot to me <3


	5. I'm so sorry (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is really fUckinG short but I've been feeling like shit lately so I havent written anything new but I had this half written chapter on my old computer so i was like ye. I felt like I needed to update the story just a tiny bit. Hope this will do until next time.

When Wonshik woke up, he looked at the time on his phone.

 

“FUCK” He jumped out of bed by reflex, and ran into the bathroom. He had been sleeping all day yesterday. He’d been sleeping since he came home from the hospital, and all morning today. He brushed his teeth in a hurry, and ran into the bedroom again to change his clothes. He looked at his phone again. “5 missed calls” Wonshik cursed in his mind. He really hates mornings.

 

Wonshik went into the kitchen with his phone pressed against his ear, to call his work and tell them that he’ll be late. Then he remembered yesterday. Everything that happened. Details and graphic images. The man on the other line picked up.

 

“Hello? Wonshik?? _Oh my god_ Wonshik we were so worried about you! Why haven’t you answered any of our calls?!”

 

_Silence._

“Wonshik?.. Are you there?”

 

_Nothing._

“Hey buddy, is something wrong? Are you with Jaehwan? He didn’t answer our calls either..”

 

Wonshik dropped his phone as he fell to the kitchen floor. He started to sob loudly into the cold floor. The man on the phone, wonshiks closest co-worker, started to panic.

 

“Wonshik what happened?! Are you okay?? Where are you?? Should I call an ambulance?!”

 

Wonshik just kept on crying. “ _How could I forget?”_  was all that went through his mind in that moment. His sobbing got worse and worse by each second that went by. _You haven’t even been gone for two days, and I’m already forgetting you?_ Wonshik started to get lightheaded. _Jaehwan, I’m so sorry._

 

When the man on the phone didn’t get a response, he started to walk out the tattoo shop and getting into his car.

 

“Wonshik, I’m coming over. You’re home, right? Wait there, I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay?”

He hung up.

 

Wonshik started to shake. _“I haven’t even told your parents yet..”_  His words were weak. “Jaehwan, baby, _I’m so sorry..”_  He tried to take a deep breath to calm down, so he could get his words out clearly, just in case Jaehwan hears them.

 

“ _I swear_ that I won’t forget you. Never _ever_. I promised you that I’d wait for you, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do _. I swear_.” He knew Jaehwan could hear him.

 

* * *

 

 

After about fifteen more minutes of intense sobbing filling the quiet apartment, Wonshik could hear someone at the door. The guy that was previously on the phone, was now in the apartment. “Wonshik, It’s me, where are you?!”

 

The man discovered Wonshik on the kitchen floor. He looked horrible, all crawled up to a ball on the floor.

 

The man, _named Hyuk_ , took a hold of Wonshik and shook him, to see if he was there mentally. “Wonshik oh my god can you hear me??” Wonshik tried to calm down, but he just couldn’t. “What happened to you? Where’s  Jaehwan??” Something inside of Wonshik snapped.

 

“HE’S NOT HERE, ISNT THAT FUCKING CLEAR TO YOU??!” Hyuk was shocked. Wonshik had never yelled at him like that before. He took a strong grip on hyuk and started to shake him.  “IF HE WAS AROUND DO YOU REALLY THINK I’D BE HERE ON THE FLOOR CRYING MY EYES OUT?? DO YOU THINK THAT BADLY OF HIM THAT YOU ACTUALLY THINK HE WOULDN’T COMFORT ME RIGHT NOW??” Tears started to fall down his cheeks again.

 

“WONSHIK CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON”

Wonshik started to violently sob again. _“I don’t know”_ Hyuk hugged him and held him tight.

 

“Where’s Jaehwan?”

 

 _“I don’t know”_ It was barely a whisper, but that was all he could manage to get out.

 

They stayed like that for a while, in each other’s arms, trying to make sense of everything.

 

After a few minutes of calming down, Wonshik opened his mouth to talk. He needed to tell the story, he needed to tell it for Jaehwan.

 

“He was in a car crash..” Wonshik could feel his eyes starting to water up, but he had to stay strong for this.

 

“ _What?.._ Is he okay?”

 

“He didn’t make it” Wonshik felt suffocated by his own words.

 

“Oh my god Wonshik I’m _so sorry_ ”

 

“I haven’t even told his parents yet” The tears were uncontrollable at this point. His vision was blurred by his tears. His cheeks started to get wet again, but he didn’t make a sound. Wonshik felt disgusting. _How can I sit here and cry when I’m not the one who got injured._ Then he remembered Hakyeon.

 

“Hyuk I have to make a call.” He picked up his phone from the floor and dialed the number he was given the other day at the hospital by Hakyeon.

 

Hyuk didn’t question him. He didn’t dare to do it.

 

“Hello is this Hakyeon?”

 

He knew that if Jaehwan was here, he wouldn’t even dare to think about himself right now. He was always the, _almost too_ , caring type. He would’ve made sure Hakyeon was okay before he could go on with everything else. Wonshik knew that.

 

“No. This is Taekwoon speaking. Who’s this?”

 

Fuck.

 

“I’m Wonshik from the hospital. Is he okay?” He started to panic. The last thing he wanted right now was another accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update this more often. Thank you for your support. It really means a lot <3


	6. A kenvi backstory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked me on tumblr for this, so here u go. This is how they met and yeah.. And I know this story is messy but so is my life so like can we all just accept that It's gonna be like this for a bit <333 also I already had this written like a few months back so thats why I post it in the middle of another chapter IM SORRY but yeah here it is

Wonshiks little sister used to tell him that she had the best teacher in the world. She used to tell Wonshik that if he came with her to kindergarten, then he could meet Jaehwan, and they could become friends. She knew that Wonshik didn’t have any friends of his own, so she really didn’t mind sharing hers (even if Jaehwan was just her teacher, she still saw him as a friend, and so did Jaehwan.)

Wonshik never really liked places like kindergartens or really any place that contained kids. He thought they were annoying, and they cried too much, too loud, for Wonshiks liking.

His little sister was an exception, though. But loved ones always are, at least for Wonshik.

So of course, after a lot of nagging and pleading for Wonshik to walk his sister to kindergarten and later pick her up, that would become a reality.

When the two Kim siblings walked through the door to kindergarten, a little too early in the morning for Wonshik to properly function, the younger one led her brother to her clothing shelf in the hallway, where she then proceeded to take off her shoes and coat. She then took Wonshiks hand in her own, and walked them both in to a room that looked like it was meant for eating in, since there was a big table in there, with some bowls of cereal and some fruits on there, and a lot of little chairs around it. The door to the playroom was just across the room. 

There weren’t a lot of kids there yet, since it was still pretty early. There were only about 3 kids there so far. Three kids and a teacher. Or maybe he was an older brother to one of the kids? Wonshik wasn’t really sure, since the man in front of him looked so young. He was pretty, though. One of the prettiest people Wonshik had ever seen, in fact. Wonshik knew he must be tired, since he’d never thought of any boy as “pretty” before. Not that he didn’t like guys, but he didn’t really like anyone like that. Or at least he hadn’t liked anyone like that before. Not now either, but the thought of liking a guy hadn’t even crossed his mind.

 

“Teacher! This is my brother, Wonshik!”

The two men made eye contact. The teacher smiled at him, with the warmest eyes Wonshik had ever seen. He suddenly felt a little self-conscious, looking at the gorgeous man in front of him.

“So you’re the famous Wonshik she won’t stop telling me about?  I’ve heard so much about you!” Wonshik felt a slight blush creeping up on his cheeks. “Mostly good things, though, so don’t worry.” Jaehwan said winked at him. That really didn’t help the slight red color on Wonshiks face. It only made it worse.

Wonshik didn’t say anything, afraid he would stutter in front of the man.

 

“I’m Jaehwan, I work here.” Jaehwan said with the brightest smile Wonshik had ever seen. You could compare the smile to when kids wake up on Christmas morning, or something similar to that. It made Wonshik smile, too. 

“I figured.” Wonshik said, half-jokingly (since he actually didn’t know before)

Jaehwan chuckled. “ _cute_ ” he thought for himself.

“Well, there’s about 35 minutes before the other kids will start to get here. We were just about to eat some breakfast before we start the day.. You wanna join?” Jaehwan asked, looking at Wonshik while picking one of the kids up, and putting him on a chair around a small table.

 

(Authors note: idk if you do that in other countries, but I did that as a child when I was early to kindergarten and school idk about yall tho)

 

The kids in the room all looked at Wonshik. His little sister gave him a puppy look, and Wonshik couldn’t refuse. Not that he would’ve anyways, since he’d never say no to a free meal.

“Sure, why not”

Jaehwan looked happier than before, if that was even possible.

“Great! Take a seat!” Wonshik wondered how Jaehwan could be so full of life this early in the morning.

After handing out the breakfast to the kids, Jaehwan turned to face Wonshik, to small talk a bit. Jaehwans eyes was greeted by Wonshik, stuffing his mouth full with cereal and milk. It made him chuckle. Wonshik looked like a hamster, stuffing his cheeks like that.

 

“So,” Jaehwan started off their conversation. “What school do you go to?” He asked, not because he was bored, but because he actually wondered. “Maybe I’ve been there!”

Wonshik, with a mouth full of cereal, did not look amused. He swallowed all of the breakfast in his mouth, which Jaehwan found incredible, considering the amount that was just in there

“I don’t go to school.” He simply said, before taking a spoon full of cereal to his mouth again.

“Really? _Why_? Are you a dropout?”

Wonshik chuckled. He really didn’t know why the other male cared. He didn’t mind, though.

“I work.” He said, as he looked over to his little sister, who was having a conversation of her own, with the other kids at the table.

Wonshik could tell by the look on Jaehwans face that he wanted to ask where he worked.

“I’m a tattoo artist. It’s always been a passion of mine.”

“rEALLY?? THAT’S SO COOL!” Jaehwan didn’t mean to shout and startle the children, but he couldn’t help it.

The kids all looked at him, silence filling the room.

“Sorry.. I got a little excited.” Jaehwan blushed while rubbing his neck nervously. “I’ve actually been planning on getting a tattoo really soon!”

Wonshiks eyes lit up. “Really? Where are you gonna get it done? I know a great place a few blocks from here! I know the owner, and she’s really nice!” Wonshik heard himself getting a little too excited for some small talk. Wonshik really wanted to suggest his own shop, but he didn’t want to seem too creepy, since he just met the other male.

 

Before Jaehwan could answer, another male walked through the door, into the dining room.

The kids all looked his way.

“Good morning, kids. Hello Jaehwan. Who do we have here?”  He looked over at Wonshik. The male was tall and looked to be in his early thirties. 

“He’s my brother, Mr. Han!” Wonshiks sister yelled happily so that no one would miss it.

“We’ve all heard so much about you. There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t hear your name being spilled from her lips.” The tall man said, smiling, almost chuckling. “Nice to meet you, Wonshik. I’m Mr. Han. But you can call me Kwangjae.”

 

There was about seven minutes more of conversation, now between the three males, before the other kids came in, one by one, with their guardians following right after. Two other teachers came in as well. A woman and a man, they looked to be in about their late 30s.

When Wonshik looked at the time, he decided it was time to go, since there was only five more minutes until kindergarten officially started for the day. He said goodbye to his sister, and told her he’d be back later that day to pick her up.

Jaehwan and some of the other people in the room waved him goodbye as he walked through the door. _Wow._ Wonshik didn’t really want to leave, but he reassured himself that he’d be back in a couple of hours.

 

* * *

 

Wonshik couldn’t focus on his work that day. Luckily for him, and everyone else, it wasn’t a busy day at the tattoo shop. Wonshik really tried to focus on his work, but he always found himself in deep thoughts, unknowingly staring at his coworkers. Spacing out like that wasn’t anything new for him though, but only thinking of Jaehwan was _definitely_ new. _Why am I like this? I don’t even know the guy. I wish though.._ Wonshiks thoughts were taking over him. _Cute._

When it was time to leave work, Wonshik couldn’t wait. He had to tell himself that he was only eager to see his little sister, but it’s hard to lie to yourself when you’re the one who knows the truth already. He left _just_ a bit early that day.

 

* * *

 

As soon as he walked through the door too the kindergarten, he was greeted by one of the kids from this morning at the table. “YOONA, YOUR BROTHER IS HERE” Wonshik  was startled. How could a human that small have a voice that powerful? “I’M COMING” His sister wasn’t that bad herself.

She walked over to Wonshik with a picture in her hands. “I drew this for you! Look! It’s you and me riding a dinosaur!” _Adorable._ Wonshik chuckled lightly. “That’s a very pretty drawing! You have talent, little sis.”

Jaehwan came over to the siblings to tell Wonshik how the day went for his sister. “She was in a really good mood today” He patted her hair and smiled.  “She didn’t cause any trouble either. Not even once!” Jaehwan looked at her with soft eyes. “It must be your personal record!” Yoona just laughed. Wonshik smiled. “What a relief. She can be a lot to handle sometimes.” The two males made eye contact. Wonshik felt his cheeks starting to heat up a bit. _Seriously.._ “Well.. we should get going now..” Why did he feel so awkward towards him all of a sudden?

“Okay, bye! See you tomorrow?”

“What? I mean sure, if you want to?..”

Jaehwan chuckled. “I mean tomorrow in here again, if you’ll be walking her here again that will say.”

_Wonshik you fucking idiot. Of course he meant like this. Stupid._ “Yeah of course, that’s what I meant too” _Seriously Wonshik shut the fuck up._

Jaehwan thought it was cute, the way the other man acted. Adorable, really. “Okay, see you tomorrow then! Bye!”

“Bye! See you later, alligator!” _Why did I say that why did I say that why did I fucking say that that’s so stupid I don’t-_

The door was already closed. Wonshik prayed to every possible god out there that Jaehwan didn’t hear that.

“That was really lame”

“Shut up, Yoona”

“Are you really taking me here tomorrow too?”

“It seems like it”

“GREAT ! Then you can get teachers number!”

“What? No? Why would I want that?”

“Because you like him! And he likes you too! You should get his number.”

Wonshik choked on air. “Who said that I liked h- _What??_ How do you know that, Yoona?”

“He told me” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

_What a day._

 

* * *

 

 

The next mornig Wonshik found himself wanting to put a little bit more effort into his appearance. _Am I falling for him?_ He brushed through his brightly colored hair. _Oh shut up you already fell for him._ _You’re gone. Done with. No use in denying it._ Wonshik found himself smiling at the thought of the other man.

“You look really nice, Wonshik! Are you meeting someone special today?”

“Thank you, Yoona. And yeah I guess you could say that.”

“Who? You don’t have any friends..”

“….ok you got me. But still. There’s nothing wrong with putting some effort in your appearance.”

“If you say so.”

 

* * *

 

When the Kim siblings arrived at the kindergarten, Wonshik felt his heart beat a little bit faster. Is it possible to fall in love from just a bit of small talk and a few glances? _Am I that easy.._ They walked in through the door.

“TEACHER I’M HERE!” Couldn’t she be a bit more discrete?..

“Good morning, Yoona! and good morning to you too, Wonshik!” Jaehwan looked as energetic as ever. How can someone be so full of life this early in the morning? _It’s cute._

“Good morning.” Wonshik wanted to small talk today again, but putting all that extra effort this morning with his clothes and hair (and some extra eyeliner) made the siblings a bit late. Jaehwan walked into another room to get a kid who played in there by himself.

Wonshik stroked his sisters hair gently.  “Yoona, I have to go to work now, since we’re a bit late, but I’ll be back in a few hours, okay? Don’t cause any trouble, promise?”

“Promise”

“Good. I’ll be going now. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Jaehwan came out of the playroom with a kid in his arms. “Yoona, where’s your brother?”  

“He went to work” She really needed to work on her delivery of words.

“Oh” _Too bad_ he thought.

 

* * *

 

Later that day, in the afternoon, Jaehwan was alone with the kids. There was only 4 left, so it wasn’t a problem. He sat them all down in a circle. They usually did this when there wasn’t a lot of kids there left. They did it to bond a bit. They talked about anything and everything. Today, the topic became love. You never knew what those kids would say. They’re all so open minded. Jaehwan liked that about kids.

“Do any of you kids know how many types of love there is out there?” Jaehwan was looking forward to hearing their thoughts. “No? Could you mention any type of love you know? For example, I love my little friends right here” They all smiled. They loved him too.

A kid raised his hand faster than lightening. “I love sandwiches!” The other kids laughed.

“Yes that’s one type of love! Good job! Anyone else want to give it a try?”

Another kid raised his hand. “My dad loves my mom! She loves him too, but I think she loves her tv dramas a bit more.” Jaehwan chuckled. He loved how open they were.

“I’m sure she loves him just as much as he loves him. Very good! Yoona, how about you? Do you know any other type of love?” 

She thought hard for a bit. Then her eyes lit up. “Yes! I know! The type of love my oppa has for you!”

Jaehwan started to blush. “What do you mean? He doesn’t love me..”

The other kids in the room listened to the conversation as if they were getting tested on it later. “Yes he does! He even put on extra nice clothes this morning for you! He brushed his hair and all! I would never do that for someone if I didn’t love them. Too much work for nothing.” The kids watched Jaehwan as his face became redder and redder.

“I- I don’t.. I guess that’s love then..” For the first time in forever, Jaehwan was at a loss for words.

The kids all looked at each other with grins on their faces and then back at Jaehwan. 

The last kid raised her hand. “Teacher, do you love him too?” Jaehwan wanted to hide in a hole. _This is not where I thought this conversation would end up as.._

“I don’t-“

Yoona opened her mouth again. _Oh boy._ “You were talking about him all day yesterday! Today at lunch too!”

“What? No I didn’t I-“

All of the kids looked at Jaehwan, and _very synchronized_ yelled “Yes you did!”

“Okay maybe I did..” He thought for a bit. “Would you kids call this love?”

“I think you and Yoonas brother have your own type of love!” The other kids seemed to agree. That possibility didn’t seem all too bad for Jaehwan. _What am I doing? Using little kids as counselors.._ _this won’t do._ “Who wants asome ice cream?”

 

* * *

 

About one and a half hours later, Wonshik came to pick his sister up. “Yoona! I’m here!”

“Wonshik! I had so much fun today! I even got some ice cream after Jaehwan told us about-“

Jaehwan laughed awkwardly. “That’s enough, Yoona.” he patted her hair to make her stop talking. He looked over to Wonshik. “She was in a great mood today too!” Then he noticed the details Yoona talked about earlier, the nice clothes and the brushed hair. Wonshik looked really nice. Not that he didn’t the day before, but he looked even better when he knew that he did it for Jaehwan. He started to feel a little self-conscious about his looks. Wonshik was looking like a million bucks, while Jaehwan wore his usual clothes, now stained with kids snot and ice cream.

Jaehwan had to comment on Wonshiks looks today. It would be rude not to. “You look really nice today, Wonshik!” _Was that weird?.._

Wonshik blushed. Even though he hoped that Jaehwan noticed, he didn’t expect him to tell his out loud. “Oh. Uhm.. thank you, you too.” He really thought Jaehwan looked nice, even in this state.

“He did it all for you, teacher!” Jaehwan chuckled.

Wonshiks face became red. “No I didn’t! I just-“ Jaehwan stopped him.

“It’s okay. She already told me today. I appreciate that.” Jaehwans eyes were so soft Wonshik thought he’d get lost in there sometime.

“Oh.. Well I just thought-“

“Don’t worry, you look great. You looked great yesterday too, and I’m sure you’ll look great tomorrow too.” _Did I mention you look great._ Wonshik was at a loss of words.

“Oh right!” Jaehwan snapped out of his thoughts. “I wanted to give this to you!” He handed Wonshik a note.

“What’s this?” Wonshik was still a bit spaced out in his thoughts.

Jaehwan saw Wonshik hesitate and he started to feel shy. “Ahh I just thought that maybe you’d wa-“

“Is this your number?” Wonshik spoke his thoughts out loud.

“Yeah. I just thought that maybe you’d like to have it.. I don’t know.. Maybe it’s inappropriate of me as a teacher I’m sorry” Jaehwan wanted to hide somewhere. _Why did I do that.._

“No. No, It’s fine, I want to. I mean I want it. No I mean I’d like to have your number.” _Why am I so awkward._

Jaehwan felt a brick fall off of his chest. “Good. I mean great. Wonderful.” _Can I not like shut up or.._

“Well.. I guess we should leave now.” Wonshik looked at Yoona, who was just standing there, waiting for her brother to stop talking and take her home already.

“Yeah.. Yeah that’s probably a good idea. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow too?”

“Yeah I’ll be here. I mean Yoona will be here too of course. But yeah, I’ll be here.”

“Great. See you! Bye”

“Bye”

* * *

 

When Wonshik came home, he lied down on the couch in the living room and looked at his phone. _Should I text him? No not yet.. Or should I call him? No what am I? a creep? No I’ll wait a bit.._

He took a short nap. He was exhausted. He woke up about an hour later. Yoona was watching some cartoons on Wonshiks computer. “Morning” She said.

“Morning..”

“Did you text teacher yet?”

“…no. I don’t even know what to say..”

“I’m little and even I know that you start with saying hello” Wonshik chuckled. _She’s right. It’s not a big deal. Just text him already._

He took out the note with the number on it from his back pocket and put it into his contacts. 

Here it goes. He finally sent a text. “Hi! It’s Wonshik! I’m sorry for my sister, she can be very honest about things.. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable..” His heart started to beat faster. _Am I a high school girl with a crush? Why am I so flustered.._  

About two minutes later he got a text back. “Hi! Don’t worry about it. Honestly.. I think it was cute. You doing that for me. You’re cute”

_He thinks I’m cute?_

“Jaehwan, I was thinking.. Maybe you’d like to get a coffee sometime? I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to I just thought maybe it would be nice..”  
  
“You seem flustered even in text. Cute^^ And of course I want to have a coffee with you! Maybe tomorrow after work?”

“Sounds perfect! See you then!”

“^^”

 

* * *

 

The next day they met up at a café nearby, and they spent a couple of hours in there, just talking about their lives, interests, dreams and everything in between. Even though they hadn’t known each other for more than a couple of days, they both knew it was love. Their own  kind of love.

* * *

 

After that it all went pretty smooth. Wonshik picked Yoona up a lot more often. The two males saw each other at least once a day, if not more.

Months went by, and they were more in love than ever. People around them would say that they would seem to get more in love each day they spent together. It was a beautiful love story. They were so different but still so alike.

 

 About one and a half years later, on a cold and dark morning, Jaehwan had asked Wonshik to move to an apartment together. On that day, the words “I love you” weren’t even enough to describe Wonshiks love for the other one. Not that it ever was, but especially not today. “Of course! Yes yes yes! I’d love to!” He held Jaehwan tight. He smiled. “Great”

Their first apartment wasn’t that great at all, but they still loved it. It was theirs. So personal and intimate for the two. The first night in that apartment was so memorable for them both. They didn’t have a fridge or anything yet, just a bed and a few boxes. So they ordered pizza and built a fort out of some of the boxes and spent the night in there, just enjoying each other’s company. And that’s what they kept doing throughout the years. Whenever things were too much for them, they would build a fort and hide in there with each other for a bit. Just long enough for them to only focus on eachother, or long enough for the pizza man to come.

They really loved eachother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk just a short summary of how they met.


	7. I'm so sorry (pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> messy day.

”Hello, Wonshik. Don’t worry. Hakyeon is just sleeping right now.”

_What a relief._

“Oh. Okay, good. How is he doing? Was it ok getting home yesterday?” Wonshik didn’t really know what to say, he’s still kind of numb.

“It went ok. We live on a high floor though, so we’re probably going to have to look for another place so he can get around by himself..” Taekwoon was as calm as always, but the words seemed to hurt him as he kept on saying them.

Wonshik felt sick to his stomach. _Jaehwan would’ve cried if he heard this.._ “Is there anything I can do to help? Anything?”

“No, it’s fine. Thank you. Hakyeon doesn’t really like to receive help from others, he feels like a burden to people like that. But I appreciate your kindness though.” Taekwoons voice was so calming, it made Wonshik feel a little bit better.

“Okay, just tell me if you ever need anything. I know Jaehwan would’ve tried to help out as well if he could.”

“I’m sure he would.”

There was a few seconds of silence on the phone.

“Well.. I shouldn’t bother you anymore.. Tell Hakyeon that if I can be to any help at all, that he can just call me, okay?”

“Okay, thank you. Bye”

“Bye”

_Jaehwan, help me get through this, please.._

* * *

 

When Taekwoon put his phone away, he heard Hakyeon getting out of bed. He walked in there, in case he needed some help. He had put the wheelchair besides the bed earlier, so Hakyeon wouldn’t have to crawl out of the room. He looked at the man on the bed. Hakyeon looked so pitiful like this, it was hard to watch him trying to move like that. “Morning, babe. Do you need any help?”

Hakyeon just looked at him with a blank expression on his face. “No.. no, I can get out of bed by myself. I’m not a baby..” Even though he just woke up, he stil had his usual attitude on. It was reassuring to Taekwoon to hear. “Okay, just tell me if you do” He kissed Hakyeons forehead and sat down on the bed besides Hakyeon.

After about two more minutes of struggling to get into his wheelchair comfortably, Hakyeon succeeded. “See! I’m fine, Taekwoon. Don’t worry about it.” Hakyeon smiled half-heartedly at the other man, and Taekwoon could only smile back. “Okay, I’ll try not to worry.. By the way, Wonshik called earlier. He just wanted to see if you were ok, and he told me that if he could be of any help, that we should call him.” Hakyeon smiled. “Oh, right, Hakyeon, what do you want for breakfast? I was thinking about making some.”

“I’d really love some pancakes right now.”

Taekwoons stomach growled. “Good idea.”

As Taekwoon walked out of the bedroom to make some breakfast, Hakyeon tried to follow him, but he failed. _Why is it so hard to control this thing.._ He tried it out a bit inside the bedroom so he knew how to turn it and not run into too many things on his way out. When he thought that it he’d had enough practice inside of there, he successfully rolled out into the hallway. _This is fine. It’ll all be fine. It’s not that bad._ He then proceeded to roll in to the kitchen where he could already smell the delicious pancakes in the making. “It smells great!”

“They taste great too” Taekwoon was always so proud of his cooking skills. Even if it was just pancakes. _It’s cute_ , Hakyeon thought. “Hakyeon, you can go and sit down in the living room, I’ll be there in a few minutes when these are done _” Fuck. Did I just say “GO and SIT DOWN.” I’m such an idiot._ He looked over at Hakyeon who just smiled. “No, wait. I didn’t mean it like that I-“

“Taekwoon it’s fine. Funny, almost. I’ll be in there, okay?”

“Okay..”

Hakyeon went in to the living room and turned on the TV. He lifted himself out of the wheelchair and  on to the couch. _I’m great at this._ He watched the last few minutes of some running man episode, and then Taekwoon came into the living room with two plates full of pancakes. “Here you go, princess.” He blushed at the nickname. “T-Thank you” _Cute_ , Taekwoon thought.

They watched an episode of ‘Good doctor’ together, snuggling each other, eating pancakes, and then Taekwoon got a call. “Hello? But I can’t right- no sir I wasn’t- yes, yes I understand. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Taekwoon looked defeated. “I’m so sorry, babe, I didn’t think I needed to be at work today since I already called them but-“

Hakyeon just smiled at him. “It’s okay, Taekwoon. I’ll be fine. Really.” Taekwoon hugged him really tight. “You sure? I promise I’ll be home as soon as I can. You know how my boss is..”

“Taekwoon, I said it’s fine. You should go. I’m gonna stay here and watch some tv. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay. I’ll hurry, I promise” Taekwoon changed into his working clothes and when he was just about to walk out of the door, he ran over to Hakyeon and kissed him. “I love you” They both smiled at each other. “I love you too. Now go before you get yourself fired.” Then Taekwoon went out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

For the next two and a half hours or so, Hakyeon just stayed in that same spot in the sofa, watching some tv and listening to some music. He looked at his phone. No new messages from Taekwoon. _He better be really busy.._ He read a few chapters from his favorite book, and drank some coffee.

Then he decided that he couldn’t just stay on the sofa all day, so he got in to his wheelchair and went in to the kitchen with the plates from earlier.

He put the plates in the sink and tried to reach for the dish brush, but he couldn’t reach from his wheelchair. Because of that, he got a little frustrated with himself. But since he knew that getting mad over things he couldn’t control was a waste of emotions, he tried to calm down. It’s fine, _it’s just a dish brush._ He decided that the dishes could wait a bit.

He looked at his phone again. “1 new message” It was from one of his dance students. The girl he drove to the hospital before the accident. “Teacher! Why aren’t you here?”  He froze. _Fuck. How am I going to explain this.._ “Hello. There was an accident, kind of a big one. So I won’t be able to come for a while. But I’ll send in a substitute teacher for the time being. You can all skip class today, since no teacher is there. Tell the others.” His own choice of words was making him feel sick to his stomach. He knew very well that he may never be able to teach dance again. “Okay teacher. Cheer up!” This made Hakyeon tear up.

  _I’ll try to._

He put his phone away for a bit to clean up in the kitchen. Hakyeon always liked a clean home, so random touch-ups weren’t anything new to him. _I have to do something with my day. I can’t just sit around and be bitter._ He reached out for the floor brush, but accidentally knocked it over so it fell to the floor. _Seriously.._ He tried to pick it up but he couldn’t reach down to the floor with his hands.

He thought it would be best to clean up something else that was easier for him, like in the living room. So he backed up with his chair to get out of the corner of the room, but he bumped in to the kitchen table and hurt his arm a bit. _This is not my day._

He cleaned up in there as much as he could with a pretty much non-dirty room. He fixed little things like the little table cloth and puffing some pillows.

After he was done with the small details, he started do dust off the tv counter, since that wasn’t very hard to do while sitting down. When he was dusting off the window sill he tried to pull down the blinds but his arm started hurting and he accidentally knocked over a flower pot over himself. “FUCK” He felt himself going slowly insane by this disability. _Now I’m all dirty.._

He went in to the bedroom to pick up a towel so he could take a shower and get the dirt off of him. _It shouldn’t be so hard, right? It’s just a shower, but sitting down.._ Then he went in to the bathroom. He had his phone with him, just in case Taekwoon would call him. He always brought it in with him, that way he felt a bit reassured.

He locked the door, since he’s always done that, no matter if he was alone or not. He tried to look at himself in the mirror, but it was too high up for him to see. He took off his shirt without a struggle, but his pants and underwear was a bit trickier. After about five minutes of struggling to take off his pants and underwear without being able to move his legs, he succeeded. He looked like a mess in that moment. All dirty, naked and sweaty. He was kind of glad he couldn’t see himself at that time.

 He looked down at his body. There were bruises all over him. He looked like an oil painting. _Pathetic._ Even though he couldn’t move his legs, he could still feel the pain in them. It wasn’t as intense as he thought it would be, so he could still bare it, but it still hurt. His thighs were numb, so he couldn’t really feel them, but on the rest of his legs it hurt like hell. _Maybe a relaxing hot shower is exactly what I need right now.._  

He turned on the water and started to feel a bit more relaxed. He reached out for the shampoo bottle and poured some out into his hands. He turned off the shower to get his shampoo to soak in a bit, but when he reached out to turn it on again he slipped with his chair in the tiny shower space, and he fell out of his chair. The water was pouring over him and he started to panic. He hurt his arms when he fell, so he couldn’t lift himself up from the floor.

The chair was also lying on the floor besides him, and he felt so helpless. The shampoo started to get into his eyes and it burned so bad. He knew he needed help to get up, but he also knew that if he would’ve called Taekwoon, his boyfriend would never be able to forgive himself for leaving him alone like that. In his state of panic, he tried to crawl out of the shower to reach for his phone.

 His body really hurt from both the accident and from falling down on the hard bathroom floor. He slipped with his hands on the wet bathroom floor, and he hit his head on the floor beneath him. He started to bleed from his head. _What did I do.._

He started to feel dizzy, but then he remembered what Wonshik said about helping him out, so he called. He got dizzier and dizzier by each second that went by. “Wonshik pick _up_ ” After about fifteen seconds of struggling on the floor to keep calm, Wonshik picked up.

“Hakyeon?”

“Wonshik.. Help me..” Hakyeons vision started to get blurry.

“Hakyeon? What’s wrong??” Wonshik started to panic as well.

“I need help.. I fell.. I’m starting to feel dizzy, please help me”

 _Fuckfuckfuck._ “Hakyeon where are you?? Are you at home?? I’m coming, stay there” Hakyeon was so glad that he had told Wonshik the address at the hospital, because he was getting so dizzy that he couldn’t even remember it himself.

He put his phone away and tried to turn off the water, but at this point he couldn’t even lift his arms up. As he felt the hot water pouring down on his body and face, he started to fade out. “Taekwoon, _I’m sorry_ ”

 

* * *

 

 

When Wonshik arrived, the door to the apartment was unlocked, fortunately. He rushed inside. “Hakyeon!? Where are you??” He heard the water running from the shower and rushed to where the sound came from. He knocked on the door hysterically. “Hakyeon it’s me, open up!!”

No answer.

“Hakyeon are you okay?!”

Silence.

Wonshik started to kick the door. A scenario like this had happened before. Since Jaehwan had diabetes and sometimes had a very low blood sugar level, he had passed out in the shower with the door locked. Luckily for him, Wonshik was in the room next until him, so he heard him falling and could easily break the door, since it was in their old apartment, and the lock was old and rusty. But now, the lock wasn’t easy to break.

Wonshik was really panicking at this moment, and he kicked once especially hard, and the door opened. And there Hakyeon was. Blood in his hair, a wet and naked body with the wheelchair besides him. “ _Oh my god_..” He turned off the shower and lifted the passed out man up into his arms and carried him out to the bedroom. “Hakyeon?? Hakyeon, _wake up_!!” He shook the other man, trying to get some life into him. _Why isn’t he responding.._

He put a bathrobe he found around him so he wouldn’t freeze, and then he took off his own shirt and tried to use it as a bandage for Hakyeons still bleeding head. Wonshik called an ambulance, and they arrived pretty fast.

The next thing Hakyeon knew was that he had been woken up by a man with a first aid kit. “Hakyeon? Can you hear me?” The man sounded calm, it was reassuring for Hakyeon to hear, he almost sounded like Taekwoon.

“I can hear you.. But what happened?..”

“You fell in the shower and hit you head. You called mr. Wonshik to help you but when he arrived you were already passed out.” _Wonshik, right, is he here now?.._  “Are you still feeling dizzy?”

“No, no, I’m fine, I mean I’m confused, and my head hurts a bit, but I’m not dizzy..”

“Good. Do you want to go to the hospital? You don’t have to, since you didn’t hit you head too hard. You’re not feeling sick right? Like you have to throw up?”

“No, I’m fine. Just hurts a bit. Thank you for your help.”

“Anytime. We’ll be going now, but if you start to feel nauseous or anything like that, call us again, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good. Take care. Mr. Wonshik. Is in the living room, should I get him here?”

“Yes, please”

“Okay, one minute.”

“Thank you”

Wonshik came into the bedroom a few moments later after thanking and saying goodbye to the hospital staff. He looked like a wreck.

“Hello, Wonshik. Thank you for saving me.” He smiled at the younger man.

“It was nothing.. of course I’d be here.. I know Jaehwan would’ve done that too.”

“I’m sure he would.” There was a slight pause in their conversation. “How are you keeping up, Wonshik?”

 _I’m not_. “I’m fine, really. I wasn’t even in the accident..”

“I know, but still. You lost a loved one, and that’s even worse than it is for me.”

Wonshik was almost about to protest, but he knew it was true. He did lose a loved one. Or.. not _a_ loved one, but _his_ loved one _. Jaehwan_. “I’m fine” was all that came out of his mouth. He wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not with Hakyeon, at least. Not here. Not now.

Hakyeon could see that he wasn’t ready to talk about it either, so he dropped it. “Did you sleep well yesterday?”

“Yes I slept well. I even overslept.”

Hakyeon smiled. “That’s good. Sleeping is important.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Hey, Wonshik.. Thank you for not telling Taekwoon about what happened.”

Wonshik froze. “Shit.. I didn’t even think of it.. I’m such an idiot, I’m sorry..”

Hakyeon smiled. “No, it’s fine. I didn’t want him to know. He’d be too worried to ever leave me alone again.” They both chuckled.

“Hakyeon, you should get something to eat, you look a little pale.”

“Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea. Do you want to stay and eat with me? We can order some takeout?”

Wonshik figured it would be for the best to not leave Hakyeon alone for a little bit, so he nodded his head. “Sure.”

 

 

* * *

 

When their food arrived, they started to watch a movie together. They sat in silence for a while, enjoying their food and concentrating on the movie. Then, when the movie was over, and Hakyeon switched channels, Wonshik got a text. He looked at his phone. _1 new text from Yoona._

“Hello, Wonshik! I haven’t heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?” Wonshik felt like he was punched in his stomach. _How could I be fine.._

Hakyeon noticed Wonshiks troubled expression. “Is something wrong?”

“It’s my sister. I, uhm.. I haven’t told her what happened yet..”

“ _What?_ Really?.. Well.. what are you gonna tell her?”

“I don’t know. What _do_ you say in moments like these?..”

“Maybe you should call her? It’s not my decision to make, but I wouldn’t text someone about this..”

“Yeah I should call her.. should I do it right now?”

“Yeah that sounds like a good idea. Do you want me to leave the room?”

“No, no you can stay, it’s fine, I just don’t know what to tell her..”

“Tell her like it is.”

He dialed her number on his phone and pressed call. He started to get a bit anxious. She picked up.

“Hello? Wonshik, how are you?”

_Never been worse._

“Hello, Yoona. I uhm.. I have something to tell you, and I think you might have to sit down for this, okay?”

“Wonshik, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

_Everything._

“I- I mean, he, uhm..” His eyes were getting teary.

“Wonshik, breathe and tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s Jaehwan, he.. he, uhm, he was in a car crash, and he.. he didn’t make it.” His own words were suffocating him. Hakyeon could see how Wonshik started to freak out by the conversation, so he held his hand and smiled warmly at him. “Yoona, he’s gone. Jaehwan is gone. He isn’t here. He will never be here. He didn’t make it. He’s not ok. He won’t be back. He-“

Hakyeon hugged him. He whispered in his ear “Shhh, calm down. It’s gonna be ok.”

Yoona was in shock. “Wonshik, oh my god I’m so sorry..” She started to cry as well. “Wonshik, where are you now? Are you okay?” This was all a bit too much for the girl to handle.

“I wasn’t in the car crash, so I’m not injured, but I’m not okay. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay, Yoona.”

She took a deep breath to calm down a bit. “Have you told mom and dad yet?”

“No.” He tried to stay strong for his sister, but it was so hard not to just sob into the phone.

“Have you told _his_ parents?”

Wonshik couldn’t hold it in anymore. He started to cry loudly into Hakyeons shoulder. “ _no.._ ” It was barely a whisper, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

Hakyeon started to tear up as well. _What a tragedy.._

“Yoona, I’ll talk to you later, okay? I can’t continue at the moment..”

“Yeah, I understand, I’m so sorry for your loss, call me. Bye..”

They hung up.

Wonshik continued to sob into Hakyeons shoulder. “I’m awful. I haven’t even told his parents yet..”

“No, no don’t say that. You’re not awful, okay? Why haven’t you told them?”

Wonshik tried to breathe. “I don’t know what to say, and even if I did, _I’m not sure they would care_..”

Hakyeon finally pulled away from their long hug and looked Wonshik in the eyes. “What? Why wouldn’t they care?”

“They haven’t talked to him in years. They told him to never show his face around them again. I guess they got what they wanted, right?” His crying intensified at those words.

“That’s horrible.. But even so, you should still tell them. They’re his parents after all. No matter the reason for their behavior, their kid just passed away, I think they need to know.”

“I know, I know..” He looked down at his phone. “Should I call them, or meet them in person? I feel like losing your child, _even if you hate them_ , isn’t something you should say on the phone..”

“Call them and ask them to meet up with you. Maybe it’s good for you to be around other affected people from this right now.”

Wonshik thought for a bit. _Should I meet them? I’m sure they won’t even answer if I called.. But maybe Hakyeon is right.. It’s not like things can get any worse than it already is.._

He decided to call Jaehwans mother.

After two failed attempts to reach her, he called one last time, and after a few seconds, she picked up.

“Hello? Jaehwans mother?”

“ _What_ do you _want_? Stop _bugging_ me like this! _I’m busy_!” She sounded really annoyed, but that wasn’t anything new.

“I won’t bother you for long, you just need to hear me out, ok?”

“….hurry.”

“Is Jaehwans father there too?” Wonshik was surprised about how calm he sounded.

“Yes, he’s besides me. What is it that you so desperately need to tell me??”

 _I hate this so much.._ He took a deep breath. “I need to see you. In person. Immediately. And don’t think this is something I want. It’s just something I have to do.”

“ _What?!_ Didn’t we tell you and Jaehwan to never appear in front of us again, huh?! No! I won’t see you!”

“Calm down. I don’t want to see you either, but like I said, I have to. It’s about Jaehwan.”

“What about him? Whatever it is, I don’t care. If he decides to run away with a punk like you, he should stand by that and never come back.”

“Don’t worry, he won’t be back.” Wonshik started to lose his calm, and tears were building up in his eyes.

“…Oh.. Then what is it?”

“I can’t tell you over the phone. We have to meet up. I can come to your house tomorrow, and we can talk there.” Wonshik sniffled. He hated this lady, and meeting her in person wasn’t something he ever planned to do again.

Jaehwans mother was a bit confused. They haven’t talked in years, but now Wonshik wanted to meet in private? He sounds really sad.. Somethings up. “I-I guess.. but none of us wants this, so you better make it quick. Don’t waist our time.”

“I won’t.”

He hung up.

“I’m not sure I’m ready to see her.. I don’t think I’ll ever be..”

“Don’t worry. I got your back, okay? You’re gonna be fine, I promise.” Hakyeon hugged him and let Wonshik cry some more on his shoulder.

And as they were hugging, Taekwoon came in to the living room. “Hi babe, I’m ho- what are you doing?..” That scared the two hugging males.

“Hi, babe!” He reached out his arms to Taekwoon so he would hug him. “I’ve missed you so much!” Taekwoon hugged him, but then he carried him up in bridal style. _So possessive_ , Hakyeon thought. Wonshik just sat there on the couch.

Taekwoon kissed his boyfriend on his forehead. Then he looked shocked. “Hakyeon! What happened to you? You have a big bruise on your forehead!”

Hakyeon froze. _Fuck.._ “I, uhm.. I was just-“

“Did you fall? Are you hurt anywhere else??”

“No, I mean yeah, I mean kind of..” He buried his face in Taekwoons neck and whispered “I fell in the shower..”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Hakyeon looked up to his boyfriends eyes. “I kind of fell.. In the shower..”

“wHAT?! Hakyeon, why didn’t you call me?? I knew this would happen, I shouldn’t have left you-“

“No! It wasn’t your fault! I’m fine! Really!”  Wonshik was a little startled by Taekwoon using anything but his inside voice at the moment.

Taekwoon put down Hakyeon on the sofa and looked at Wonshik with a deadly stare. Hakyeon could see that his boyfriend was about to cuss Wonshik out, so he stopped it before it even happened. “Taekwoon, relax! I’m fine! See!” He waved his arms in the air to prove a point, but then his arm started to hurt really bad from earlier, and he whimpered. Taekwoon just sighed. “Don’t lie to me, Hakyeon. You’re not fine.” He looked over at Wonshik again and got really close to his face. “Now tell me, Wonshik, Why were you hugging my bruised boyfriend only dressed in a bathrobe?” Wonshik froze. _Shit, he must think I like Hakyeon or something. That couldn’t have looked good from his perspective.._ “He was just comforting me. I’m a bit of a mess at the moment, and he helped me calm down. That’s all.”

Taekwoon didn’t look impressed. “What were you even doing here in the first place?”

Hakyeon took a hold of his boyfriends hand. “Babe, I told you. I fell in the shower. I called Wonshik to help me up. I didn’t want to make you worry..”

“Well you didn’t do a very good job with that, now did you?”

Wonshik stood up. “Hey, don’t talk to him like that. He didn’t want to make you worry, he wanted to make you feel calm even when he was about to pass out, so don’t be rude.”

Taekwoon was about to lose his shit, and Hakyeon could see that again. “Taekwoon, don’t. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, ok? Come here.” He held out his arms again. Taekwoon picked him up and looked at Wonshik. “It’s getting late, you should leave.”

“Taekwoon, don’t be rude! Wonshik you can stay if you want to, but maybe it’s best if you go home and prepare for tomorrow. I’m sorry for this mess.”

“No, no It’s fine. I should go. Thank you for the food, and hope you get some rest later. Bye.”

“Bye. Good luck, Wonshik.”

He closed the door behind him and headed back home. Taekwoon carried his lover into their bedroom and laid him down on the bed. He laid down beside him and held his boyfriends hands. “You should’ve called me, Hakyeon.” Hakyeon kissed Taekwoons cheek. “I know. I’m sorry. I really am..”

“Don’t be. You said you’re fine, right? That’s all that matters.” They both laid there in silence for a bit, enjoying each others Company again after a long day.

After a few minutes, Hakyeon sat up. “I need to use the bathroom..” Taekwoon sat up as well. He got off the bed and picked Hakyeon up. “You want me to be in there with you?”

Hakyeon almost looked a tiny bit offended. “Don’t be silly, that’s gross. I’m sure I can take a piss by myself.” They both chuckled lightly. “Okay, fine.”

“And also, could you get the wheelchair? As much as I love you holding me like this, I don’t want to feel like a giant baby.”

“But you _are_ my baby.” Taekwoon smirked and Hakyeon almost gagged from the cheesiness of that comment. “Just take me to the bathroom, will you?”

 

* * *

 

 

Later that night, Hakyeon was in the kitchen, making a sandwich. Taekwoon sat on a chair beside him and drank some coffee. “Should you really be drinking that at this time? You won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

Taekwoon just shrugged. “I’m not supposed to sleep tonight. I’ve got some more work to do, but it’s just some paperwork though, nothing too serious.” Hakyeons expression turned sad. “Why do you always have to work so much? Are you the only employee there?”

“It was their condition for letting me stay home tomorrow. No emergency calls or anything.” He smiled. Hakyeon couldn’t help but feeling a bit warm from the way Taekwoon looked at him.

Taekwoon drank up his coffee. “Babe, I have to take a shower, I’ll be quick, ok?” Hakyeon chuckled. “Don’t worry about me, what could happen? Take your time.” Taekwoon kissed Hakyeons bruised forehead and went into the bathroom. Unlike Hakyeon, he always showered with the door slightly open.

Hakyeon called Wonshik. He wanted to make sure he was ok. _That poor man._ He didn’t pick up, so for the sake of his own state of mind, he assumed he was just sleeping.

Hakyeon went in to their bedroom to get ready for the night. He put his bangs up with hairclips so it wouldn’t be annoying when he tried to sleep. He was always a bit self-conscious about his forehead, he thinks it looks big, but Taekwoon always assures him that he is beautiful just the way he is. Even with no makeup on, hair in hairclips and puffy eyes from his long days.

Taekwoon came into the bedroom after about eight more minutes, and Hakyeon was putting on some face lotion. He looked at Taekwoon. _He’s so beautiful_. He was just wearing a towel around his waist, his hair and skin was still wet and you could see his small tattoo on his ankle. “Hakyeon, are you checking me out?” Taekwoon said sarcastically with a fake gasp at the end. Hakyeon blushed. He didn’t notice that he’d been staring at his boyfriend like that.

Then, Hakyeon changed into one of Taekwoons shirts to sleep in, one of the bigger ones , those were the most comfortable ones. Then he stopped. Taekwoon looked at his bouyfriend stuck in time. “Somethings wrong?”

Hakyeon just looked at his legs. His body. Everything. _Disgusting_ , he thought. “No, it’s fine, I’m fine. Just tired.”

He crawled into the bed and watched his boyfriend sitting at the desk in the corner of the room, doing those paperworks. “Taekwoon, Is it okay if we turn the big light off? I’m kind of tired..” Taekwoon got up from his chair. “Of course.” He smiled and turned it off. The only light that was on right now was a small light at the desk. The rest of the room was dark. Hakyeon turned to his side, facing away from Taekwoon.

Taekwoon heard a sniffle. “Babe, are you okay?” Hakyeon started to cry. “No.”

All that was going through his head at that moment was how disgusting he felt. He didn’t want to see his bruised body or messed up legs. He hated this. Even with the lights off he felt like a freak. He couldn’t keep his tears in anymore. The darkness did stuff to his mind. It always did.

Taekwoon went over to the bed and sat Hakyeon up. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Everything is wrong, Taekwoon!” His cheeks were wet from his tears. “I feel so helpless! My life is ruined and I’m scared that I won’t be able to make it better again..”

Taekwoon pulled him into a hug and held him tight. “Don’t talk like that.” Even though Taekwoons was as soft and calming as always, Hakyeon couldn’t help his feelings from happening.

“I can’t do this, Taekwoon. It’s too hard..” At this point, Hakyeon didn’t even try to hold his tears in anymore. He whispered “ _I wish I was the one who died that night.._ ” Taekwoon pulled away from their hug. He put his arms on Hakyeon shoulders and looked at him with a serious expression on his face. “Don’t say useless stuff like that. You mean the world to me, and if you die I hope I die too. You always tell me that things happen for a reason, and this is no exception. Do you hear me?”

Hakyeon raised his voice. “Taekwoon, look at me! I’m a weak wheelchair-bound freak! I can’t even take a shower without fucking falling to the floor! And yes, I used to believe things happen for a reason, but what reason could there possibly be for this, huh?! If you know I would _really_ like an explanation!”

Taekwoon didn’t know what to say. “See? There isn’t an explanation for this, unless I really fucked up in my previous life. This isn’t a way for me to live! Fuck, this isn’t even living! And do you know what the worst part of this whole mess is?” Taekwoon felt sick hearing his lover this ruined. “I’m watching my life fall apart, right in front of my eyes, and I can’t do anything about it.” He just let his tears fall.

Taekwoon hugged him again, tighter than last time. “Stop it. Your life isn’t over, so stop acting like it. You can’t change what’s already happened. You know that. So you have to figure something else out. A new plan. You’re not alone in this, Hakyeon. I promise. I know you’re still here for a reason, whether it’s because someone was watching over you that night, or you were just really lucky, I don’t care. You’re here and that’s all that matters. I love you, Hakyeon.”

“How can you love me when I’m like this? I’m a freak..”

“Stop saying that. You’re not a freak. You’re still the same man I fell in love with years ago. People don’t change, Hakyeon. I really, really love you. I can’t afford losing you, you’re too precious to me for that to ever happen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at making the chapters long and i really reallyyyy suck at making sense in them too im sorry for any confusion that may occur but feel free to ask me anything if you have any questions! Look forward to jaehwans mom lol shes a bitch here but irl she seems so sweet i almost felt bad making her like this HSAH sori (BTW if you wonder, this is about six years after ken and ravi met so yoona is about 11 or so right now !!)


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